MORE ABOUT ME
My name is Cathy Himlin. I'm the Owner and Founder of Himlin Consulting. For over 27 years, I have been a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist and a Professional Clinical Counselor. I am a member of the Association of Family and Conciliation Courts and an affiliate member of the San Diego Family Law Bar Association.
Earlier in my career, I worked with birth and foster families as a Reunification Social Worker with Child Protective Services and a foster agency. Back then, my job was to help recommend whether it was safe for a child to return to their families who had overcome issues that resulted in the abuse or neglect of their children. It was an honor to serve families and assist in reuniting children and their parents.
Later, I became a court officer in Dependency Court, where I worked as a liaison between the bench officers, attorneys, and Child Protective Services (CPS). One of my jobs was to help educate the court and staff about topics like family dynamics and child development. I never realized how little knowledge and experience most court staff and attorneys had in these areas. Unlike therapists and social workers, it's not part of an attorney's regular training unless they go out of their way to learn about what we do and how therapy, child development, and family dynamics work.
In the last few years, I have developed training for attorneys to help them support their clients in Family Law and Dependency Courts. These trainings were designed for both Minor's Counsel and attorneys for the parents. I have presented my material to the San Diego Family Law Bar Association and local law firms.
Going back to work in CPS, I wanted to learn the culture of the courtrooms I would testify in. I bought a few suits just for this occasion. I sat in on various hearings and trials of other social workers and learned a lot. I was able to observe the bench officer and attorney off the record. It gave me an idea of what they expected from our work with families and any pet peeves I should look out for.
I was nervous the first time I testified, as I didn't know what to expect. It was hard to read the room, but I could tell immediately that the court was FORMAL. I quickly learned how to speak slowly and clearly because I would get interrupted by the court reporter if I spoke too fast. I discovered that everyone in the room had a job to do and not to take it personally if I felt like they were acting unkindly towards me while I was on the stand. Finally, seeing the attorneys at social functions taught me that they were human beings and fun to be around.
During this time, I trained social workers to testify effectively and participated in Mock Trials. Currently, I've taken my years of experience as a Court Officer, county social worker, and testifying in Family Law and Dependency Courts, and created a systematic approach to testifying as a therapist.
After years of social work, therapy experience, and court work, I finally found the perfect blend of all the things I love about being a Reunification Social Worker, court officer, and Marriage and Family Therapist: a Conjoint Therapist helping to reunify parents with their children who are resisting contact.
About ten years ago, I stumbled upon a type of therapy called Conjoint Court therapy, AKA Reunification therapy, in Family Law Court. For many years, I've been working with families with children who resist contact with a parent. Since then, I've been searching for ways to help families reduce stress and conflict enough to allow parents and children to move toward healthier relationships.
While working with parents as a reunification therapist, I realized I needed to reach more people. So, I created a parenting class designed primarily to help parents struggling with reconnecting with children who have either started rejecting contact or have not had contact with their child for months or years.
Also, seeing a need in our community for quality court therapy, I developed a child-centered program that supports parents. I have spent the last ten years improving the process and developing a curriculum for future court therapists to train and learn a step-by-step process to help families in the court system. I am passionate about each family receiving high-quality child-centered care while supporting the parents.